Catharsis

I think it's pretty typical that sometimes you feel super grateful for what *seems* like no good reason at all...I think that it often happens right after (or during) really difficult times in your life.

If you don't want to read about my deep personal thoughts (it's really boring and frightening all at the same time) then you should probably stop right now.

For reals just don't.

I usually hesitate to write stuff like this on a public site, but hey, "future employers" will now know that I indeed have a soul and am not some dry, sarcastic android dropped from planet France.

I was actually looking at a long-time friend's new blog when I realized just how much I care about that friend. She was awesome when I met her, and she still is, even though so much has changed during the course of our friendship. I credit her with being one of the strongest supports for me during a time that just sucked for me (I don't think she even realizes). I received on that same day, a facebook message from one of my best friends in France, who has also been there for me more than she knows, and who I will always be close to despite the current ocean and land mass standing between us. Just now I also read a student's composition about dealing with death, and cherishing our loved ones while they are here on earth (she was a sweetheart and the composition was beautifully written despite French being her third language). Cue that awful (and wonderful) chokey/prickly/dry  feeling in my throat that I get when I am emotional and can't handle it but I have to keep it together cuz I'm such a professional...

I don't do enough to appreciate the people in my life. I don't think I'll ever be able to, even though I try. Because of me having to move around so much in my life, I think that friendships were always something that I saw as transitive and temporary. I realize I can't afford to think and act like that anymore, even though to a certain extent friendships do evolve and change with time and because of our own changing lives. I've realized that I need to start telling people how much they mean to me. Even those who seem like they don't have that much of an impact on my life. Even those who feel like all I do is whine to them (I do that a lot... it's a problem).

I think we all need those introspective times where we just think about how much our friends and family have been there for us. We need to realize we're weak, and we can't always make it on our own.

I am weak, I have weaknesses, and I need loved ones in my life to make it what it is: bearable. enjoyable. 

I have a hard time saying all that, but it's also pretty cathartic.